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Anxiety, the most dreaded feeling in the world.

When I look at social media, I see so many people being open about their anxiety, making jokes about it, and sharing ways to cope, but when I first started to experience anxiety, I don't ever remember reading about it. I don't think that I realized that what I was experiencing was anxiety, I just thought everyone felt the same way that I felt.

As I am writing today, I've had two panic attacks and have been crying for the past two hours, well if I'm being honest since last night. My anxiety has been so high the last few days and I can tell that it's not going to go away. How do you cope with the fact that someone you really love and care about doesn't feel the same way?

To be honest, I wish I had the answer because it would make this a lot easier, but one thing I know for sure, I am still alive. Things get hard and I just get so tired, at times all I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up, just to be in peace. But there are so many things out there for me to be excited about. For instance, this blog, I feel excited about this. I find other things that bring me joy, taking baths, candles, sage, plants, and focus on the little things, go one day at a time, and if necessary one moment at a time.

While right now everything hurts and all I want to do is just disappear, I'm going to find what bring me joy again. Funny enough that I am experiencing a hard time right as I decide to write this blog, but anyway I hope you'll be kind as I try to find myself and learn to be happy by myself.


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